The influence of nudism on your relationship

The influence of nudism on your relationship

We already knew that nudism has a positive influence on both our physical and mental health. Or at least, in case you already pick up enough vitamin D and are living a balanced lifestyle, it doesn’t have any negative side effects (if you use sunscreen of course!).
But how does nudism effect relationships? Some time ago we’ve read that the divorce rate among nudist couples is a lot lower than among textiles, what does that mean?
Does nudism itself has a direct influence?
Or are nudist couples sharing different values than textiles which are more likely to keep them together?
Maybe nudism is provoking these values?

 

Last night’s Nasi Goreng with prawns dinner was the perfect occasion to brainstorm about this. We ordered a couple of beers, enjoyed our rice meal and wondered what it could be that keeps nudist couples together and whether it has any influence on our own relationship.
As with many of these “philosophical” questions, there is of course no black and white, no right and wrong. If we had been able to find a solid solution for keeping your relationship in perfect shape by going naked, we would be writing a book and organising a road show by now instead of creating this blog post.
But we did come up with a couple of interesting ideas.

Is it all about trust?
Since we literally became nudists together and quite in the beginning of our relationship, it’s hard to imagine a life without it. How different would our lives be if we hadn’t experienced nudism? Or if we tried it and one of us liked it and the other didn’t?
These “what if” questions are always wild guesses in the dark. Based on who we are now, we both believe that we could live with a nudist even if we weren’t. The level of trust in our relationship is high enough that we wouldn’t be threatened knowing that our partner was spending time naked among other nudies. Of course we know what it is to be a nudist, so for textiles it might be a bit more difficult to understand. But we’ll tackle that subject later, let’s focus on trust here and its worst enemy, jealousy.

 

In many relationships, trust is often linked with an inevitable idea of not letting the fox into the hen house. Although we trust our partner, we will often make measurements to prevent that he or she will be exposed to compromising situations. We want our partner to be sexy as hell when we go out together but we wonder why they have to look so fancy when they will spend a night with friends. We know that a couple of her well placed hip movements in that dress can make a guy go crazy or that with his three day beard in combination with that certain shirt he’ll have girls hanging on his lips.
Imagine what it would be like if everyone was naked…
Can we say that nudism is the ultimate level of trust? If we allow our partner to be seen naked and to see others in their purest form, have we conquered jealousy? We doubt it.It’s all about the intention. Nudists (well, other than some unfortunate exceptions, but those are not real nudists of course) don’t intend to see or to be seen. We get together because the places for nudism are limited, because we want to socialise with like minded people and because the focus is not on finding a partner or a one night stand.

Is it about confidence?
For us, it seems unimaginable not to see our partner nude at least a couple of times a day, but we would probably be surprised if we knew for how many people it has been weeks, months, sometimes even years since they last saw their partner’s naked body. And that certainly doesn’t mean that they live separately or don’t care for each other anymore. According to a poll of Glamour.com, 40% of the interviewees preferred to only have sex when the lights are out. One of the reasons they highlight is because then you “avoid getting caught up in thoughts about your physical appearance”.
Really? If you have any intention to spend at least some part of your life with this person, you still feel that you have to hide your own body? To us, that’s pure ridicule, but we wouldn’t want to feed those who are more concerned about hiding their flaws when having sex than about enjoying the moment.

 

This might be one of the biggest advantages (at least those we can think of) of being a nudist couple. In our relationship there is no hiding, we see each other naked so often that it would be muscular impossible to try to make ourselves look “better shaped” than we are. By being a nudist, we became aware of our bodies and we accept how we and our partner looks.
Of course, one could say that the fact that we are exposed to nudity might have a bad influence on our sex lives. For many, the exposure of just a little bit more skin than usual is already a turn on, how do we tackle that? Speaking for ourselves, nudity still gets us excited, but it depends on the situation.  When you see a tiger in a zoo you say “oh nice, a tiger” (or “they should not lock this beautiful animal in a cage”). When you see a tiger in your bedroom… Okay, it may not be the best comparison, but you get the point.
And if the nude body of your partner would not tickle anything anymore, it can also be  a reason to find some other triggers that can get you excited.

Just us
We’ve said it before, we feel really blessed that we got into the nudist lifestyle together and that we enjoy it equally. Also because this creates a common ground in our relationship. Before our “Naked Wanderings travels around the world” adventure, we were so absorbed by the rat race that we really had to plan “us-time”. We both worked hard, have a lot of friends, different interests and a very busy agenda. When we were actually at home together, more often than not we spent those hours staring exhausted at the TV. Since we both like to go to nudist places, this was one of the things we really did together. We went to the spa in winter and the nude beach in summer and (also thanks to the lack of electronics in those places) those were the moments when we spent hours and hours just talking to each other. Nothing else mattered, there it was just us again.

 

Mixed couples
We get the question about how to convince your partner into nudism so often that it actually saddens us. Why do people make such a big deal about it? We take life changing decisions on a regular basis, we change jobs, buy apartments, get huge loans or make babies, but a futile thing as taking your pants off among other naked people is one step too far. So our big tip is always: Propose that they give it a try. Only once, in a secure and not very crowded place.
But what if they say no? Will this affect your relationship?
Nudism is a lifestyle and we think that it’s something personal. Although we would love it if everyone in the world were nudists (going back to body confidence, in this case the question “doesn’t my butt look too big in this skirt” would not exist at all), we are completely okay with others who prefer to wear clothes. We are not saying that our lifestyle is the only right one.

 

Can a vegetarian live together with a meat lover? If the veggie thinks that eating meat is completely wrong, there will be a problem. If the other one believes that meat is a necessary ingredient for every meal, there will be a problem as well. But if both love each other for who they are and don’t try to force their believes onto the other, we think that a textile-nudist couple is perfectly possible.
We’d love to turn this last sentence into another promo for a clothing optional world, but we won’t… Or did we just do so?

 

Picture credit: The photos in this post are coming from Google and Twitter. If you find one of yourself and you don’t want it to be on our blog, let us know and we’ll remove it.

20 thoughts on “The influence of nudism on your relationship

  1. Nice article from Dr Nick and Dr Lin’s, the Naturist Philosophers 🙂

    I have a little experience of this as I was into naturist experiences before my wife and am still more likely to find naturist opportunities than she is. But I didn’t put any pressure on her and over time, provided it is in a quiet, secluded setting then my wife chooses now mainly to be naturist but of course it remains always her decision. So I would advise, don’t put pressure, just let things evolve with your partner and hopefully you will have joyful, liberating experiences together which will definitely strengthen your relationship.

    1. Hahha i agree with Colin, about the Philosophers ting hehe ,i guess im one as well, maybe thats why i like NW even tho i aint a nudist nor i agree with everything i read here.
      Like for ex. u said at the begining that nudists couples have less divorce .. maybe ,but to have a real comparison u`d have to do the comparison relativly ,there are much more textiles then nudists so of course that the chances are that there will be more textile divorces then nudist ones, same as there will be more drug addicts or rapists or same as there will be more car crashes caused by males compared to females, simply cause there are more male drivers then female.
      But ya with the rest of it i kinda agree ,i guess.

      1. Of course this comparison was based on percentages instead of actual numbers, otherwise it wouldn’t indeed make much sense. But is there an actual link? We can’t say for sure.

    1. Hello Colin! I wonder where the nude places is here in Northern Ireland. Me and my wife live in Belfast and we moved up from Waterford in the autumn of 2017. We wish a nice summer around here nude and happy!

      1. Hi Hans. I have no idea where there are nude places in the North. But could ask the Irish Naturist Association through their FB page, I can tell you about many great nude places in the West of Ireland if you are ever traveling this way.

        1. Thank you Colin for your nice answer… I will check out the FB page! We planning trevel around Ireland. But in the west coast it´s very less sun I think, grey and rainy the most…

          1. Hans, you are right about the weather but there can be good weather sometimes and we swim nude in the sea all year around regardless of the weather. Hope you find time to make it to the west

          2. As a new resident of Co Sligo, I have joined the INA/
            It has an AGM in Drumshambo (Co Leitrim) on 26th May.

            I am aiming to be there – and to pick up tips about places
            to visit during summer 2018 in West of Ireland.

            My impression is that the “Wild Atlantic Way” is too wild
            for much swimming. Are there exceptions?

  2. I had a wife who didn’t join me at the nude beach so once we split I found someone who does and my partner and I love getting to the nude beach when it is hot enough

      1. Iceman read what I said we didn’t split because she was non nudist once we split I wanted someone who I could share being nude with and I found that partner…

  3. I’ve passed by & flown over {>1k’} nudes beaches, but having experienced skinny dipping as a juvenile, understand the freedom Valve feelings about that Natural selection {obtained since a fair skinned, redhead}!
    Upon following Instagrams’ “nakedwanderings” I found the most amusing their posted “Bangkok’s” listing!
    Now 70 & still single, it’s “tempting”, not for the sex, but purely the relative potential relationships and “commiseration value”?

    1. I’ve passed by & flown over {>1k’} nudes beaches, but having experienced skinny dipping as a juvenile, understand the freedom Valve feelings about that Natural selection {obstained since a fair skinned, redhead}!
      Upon following Instagrams’ “nakedwanderings” I found the most amusing their posted “Bangkok’s” listing!
      Now 70 & still single, it’s “tempting”, not for the sex, but purely the relative potential relationships and “commiseration value”?

  4. What is your outlook on a nudist boyfriend hanging out naked one on one with his best/good friend of opposite sex and without his partner being around?
    What if your partner wants to hang out naked with his ex?

    1. He question about those 2 situations you really need to ask is this one? What if they would hang out clothed? If you’re comfortable with them being together clothed, you’ll probably don’t mind them being naked either (if they are both nudists of course)

  5. I’m not sure that naturism / nudism has that much of an impact on relationships. I think that the reverse is true.

    In this you mention trust which was one of the discussion points Kim and a friend mentioned in their discussions about trying social nudity for the first time. So it’s safe to say that had been established prior to getting into getting stuff off. The comment that the divorce rate is lower among nudists than textiles, while interesting, i wouldn’t infer causality. I think that the types of couples that can look at social nudity for what it is, rather than what they imagine, are going to already have the physiological tools required for a lasting and stable relationship.

    As far as how our relationship has been “affected” by our involvement in social nudity it has been limited to other people’s perception of it rather than ours. Certainly social nudity has affected our lives by meeting new friends and experiencing things in a way that others will never know.

    As far as the tigers go, I saw this question on reddit from a woman:

    “does seeing your female partner naked often take away the thrill of seeing her over time?”

    So it seems there is some people that hold the fear of over exposure. Below is my slightly redacted answer feel free to delete if you believe it is appropriate for this forum.

    “Definitely not!

    Kim and I have been together for 35 years and are nudists so let’s say there’s a lot of exposure to each other’s bodies we wouldn’t have it any other way.
    I have a positive association with my wife’s body not just in a sexual nature but because it’s her. This is the form taken by the person I intend to spend the rest of my life with. The person that cares about me, the person that I love spending time with, that I couldn’t live without.

    To more directly address your question I’d say that nudity alone is not inherently sexual. As an example we can be standing around with a group of our friends and I’m thinking more about the topic we’re discussing than banging my wife. Context is important.

    However, Kim gets home from work fairly late and I’ll already be in bed and laying there watching her disrobe while my anticipation grows knowing that in a few moments I’ll be pressed against her bare skin is still a time I look forward to every day. Is it sexual? Well yes but there are a myriad of other emotions as well.

    Does her body still excite me? Hell yeah! Early this morning, I’ve no idea what time, I woke to find Kim had kicked off the covers and was laying there with her back towards me illuminated by the small amount of light coming through the shutters from the street light outside. Did this simple visual get me excited? You bet it did and I couldn’t stop myself from running the tips of my fingers across the contours of her body.

    There are many things that Kim does that get my mind focused on sex. It may be something as simple as standing nude in front of the bathroom mirror brushing her hair or wearing short tight clothes, nice lingerie even if it’s not displayed.

    The point is it’s more than the person’s body, if it was we’d simply buy sex robots, but the emotional connection to the person inhabiting it. This is what you need to work with to maintain the desire, so does your partner I might add, not hiding it away and dispensing access in limited portions.”

  6. Though we dont call ourselves nudists, naturists or anything, the wife and I are pretty naked people. She “practices” in a more practical way (the morning between waking and shower, just after bathing, getting dressed and ready to leave, etc) and I’m prone to come home from work and undress with no real express purpose. She’s never made me feel uncomfortable, I try not to force her into participating more than she wants to.

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