Do we need to be scared of perverts at the nude beach?

Do we need to be scared of perverts at the nude beach?

We’ve all heard the stories… Dirty old men sitting in the corner of a nude beach or behind a dune while looking at you (or your husband). Teenagers in board shorts passing by, checking out the “merchandise”. Couples giving each other just that little too much attention just that little too close to you.
And these stories are true, people don’t invent them. Although they might exagerate a bit, but that’s what we all do when we have an exciting story to tell, no?
Unfortunately, when it comes to nudism, when it comes to exposing yourself and your flaws and all the things you have been hiding for others for so many years, those exagerations do make a big deal. Those are things that actually stop people from trying nudism.

 

And then you google “nudism” and you see all these candid photos of people having a nap at the nude beach, not knowing  that some weirdo was watching them from behind the dunes with his tele lens … it’s terrifying.
What if my boss gets hold of these pictures? What if my children or my parents do?
These are scenarios that we clearly don’t want to happen. But is it really something we have to be afraid of? Every day we see pictures in the newspaper of people who got injured or died in a car crash, did it ever stop us from driving to work (or to the bar)? Not really…
Then how much should we care about the pervies?

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Male vs female perverts
When we hear about incidents on nudist places, the offender is always either 16 or 61 and always male. Whenever we ask someone about their negative encounters, it always had to do something with a man. A man who was staring too much, a man who got too close, a man who got an erection at the wrong moment,… As far as we know, or at least what we’ve heard from the stories, there are no female perverts.
Is that really true?
Of course not. The reason why we think that is because men are in these cases… well… just plain stupid. Some men seem to think that keeping eye contact and at the same time playing with their penis stimulates women (it does not). Some men seem to think that walking around with a huge boner will soon get him in bed with the babe of the beach (it doesn’t eiter). People will think he’s a freak.
But the other way around, if a woman stares at a man for just one second too much, the guy will feel happy, noticed. If his wife says something about it, he’ll go “no honey, she was just being friendly” and afterwards he thinks “allright! I’ve just been eye fucked!”. As a pervie man, you have nothing to win, as a pervie woman, you have very little to lose.
And of course women don’t have any anatomical signs that they get excited or you must have noticed the greed in her eyes. So are there dirty minded women at the nude beach as well? Probably yes, they’re just way better in hiding it.

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What bad habits can you expect?
We have been quite active nudists for about eight years now, of which the last couple of months we’re basically been moving from one nudist place to another. We’ve been around. We’ve been to all kinds of places, clubs, campgrounds, beaches, resorts, you name it and we have to say that our encounters with misbehaviour are very rare and that we have never felt the need to leave.
But it does happen and then it’s up to you how you deal with the situation. Do you walk away? Do you punch them in the face? Do you call the authorities? And most importantly, do you let this change your idea of nudism?
We’ve talked with several owners of naturist businesses and they all say the same: Everything depends on the situation and the persons involved and all incidents are different.
But we can put them into categories:

 

  • Public sex. Some couples feel the need for an audience while they’re doing their thing. They enjoy the idea that they are/might be watched. It’s hard to drag a line here, we all know that giving your girlfriend a massage is completely accepted but that giving your boyfriend a handjob is not done. That’s clear. But there’s a huge gray zone in between the two.

 

  • The exhibitionist. This is the most common type and most of the time they mean no harm. They just like the idea that people are looking at them (just like the previous) while they’re parading up and down the beach. And this is certainly not limited to the nude beach, you should see the 6PM Speedo parade at the Garda Lake in Italy. Most of the time the exhibitionist is funny to see, it only becomes annoying when they get some kind of sexual pleasure from it and things start to go up.

 

  • The voyeur. There are different degrees in voyeurism, and the “regular” voyeur is the least harmfull. He or she comes to the nude beach to watch the nudies. They often prefer clothing optional places because then they don’t have to get naked themselves. They can be found either in a corner of the beach so they have a good overview or very close to other people.

 

  • The masturbator. The masturbator is the kind of voyeur that needs immediate pleasure. They can’t wait until they get home or they don’t trust on their mental images to bring enough excitement. So while they’re looking around they start playing with themselves. Some are very good at hiding it and others gain extra pleasure knowing that people have seen what they’re doing. Which makes them in such case an exhibitionist as well.

 

  • The paparazzi. This is the voyeur who brought a camera. Before the uprise of the smartphone they were very easy to spot. “Oh but I brought this huge telelens for photographing birds”… Nobody believed it. But now things are different. Everyone of us carries devices that are able to make decent quality photos  and we need them for a million other things as well. Only when they follow you with their phone as you’re passing by, you know that they’re not texting.

 

What can we do about all this?
Ah the big question… And the answer is simple: absolutely nothing.
We can’t fight this. We can try to prevent it with rules and more rules and security guards and membership cards and identity checks and we’re sure that all of that will help. But it won’t solve the problem. We may get a false idea of security but we’ll never be 100% sure that nothing can or will happen.
Pretty scary, isn’t it?

 

perv4The good news is that we can decide ourselves how we handle these cases. How much of a deal we make of it, how much a certain incident changes our ideas about nudism.
Because let’s face it, is it really that bad?
Having sex in public is not done. We don’t want people to do that. But is it harmfull? Does it traumatize us? Is it enough to make us leave and never come back? We can also see the fun of it, or the fun of taking a chair and sit next to them to comment on their actions “Will he shoot? Will he shoot? Oooooh he misses.”. But then you hear the voice of your six-year-old asking “Mommy what are they doing?” and yes, that’s annoying. But you might get the same question the day after when he’s watching Discovery Channel.
The same thing counts for exhibitionists. They don’t harm us in any way, unless we start to make a big deal of it. You could also show him your most bored face and a look saying “buddy, do you really think that anyone is impressed by a penis over here? It’s a god damn NUDE beach!”. Or you could go over and just tell him “Well, you probably think that you’ll get loads of female attraction by showing off like that… but I have bad news for you…”
Bottom line is, if you can see the fun of it, it’s not as bad as it seems.

 

Voyeurs are a different story, they can really make us feel uncomfortable. Every time you look to your right you see the same person staring at you, a dirty look in his eyes and a strange smile on his lips. Many have left a nude beach after such a thing happened. The easiest solution is just to pack your stuff and go lay somewhat further. They’ll rarely follow. Or you could go over and ask “sorry, am I wearing something…” ah, no, you can’t do that. But you can say “hey buddy, never seen a boob before? Here’s two of them, take one last good look because the next time you stare at them I’ll put my right nipple in your eye”. Or something more polite.

 

The papparazzi are the worst, and the only type that scares us a bit as well. If people take mental images so they can think of you before they go to bed, it’s an annoying thought, but it won’t harm us. And basically, this could happen on the bus or in church as well.
But if they’re taking real pictures… That changes things of course because we have no idea where they will end up. Sometimes in a folder on their pc, but it could as well be on this website or on some obscure porn site.
There’s little we can say about this, those things do happen. But we like to believe that it’s rare and we consider it a calculated risk. Like crossing the street after ten beers or riding a bycicle in central Brussels. We know  that maybe something bad could happen, but is that really a reason to miss out on all the fun?

 

Picture credit: The photos in this post are coming from Google and Twitter. If you find one of yourself and you don’t want it to be on our blog, let us know and we’ll remove it.

14 thoughts on “Do we need to be scared of perverts at the nude beach?

  1. Thank you very much for this article! I have been a nudist for 4 years and don’t really mind about all these kind of people, but I just introduced my girlfriend into the movement, and I fear she will refuse to do social nudism after an encounter with a voyeurist, or a paparazzi. We’re both young (18 and 21), and I think in our cases the risk to be stared at or photographed improves even more. Anyways, we really love to be nude and won’t stop doing it, even if it has to be in private!

    1. It’s of course completely normal that if you would encounter a voyeur or photographer, you will feel less secure on the beach and might avoid it in the future. Actually the best way to react is to step up to them and ask what they’re doing. If you’re sure they took photos you can ask to erase them or even better call the police.
      And if you don’t feel safe on the beach anymore, you could still move to more protected areas like clubs or resorts.

      1. Yes, that’s exactly what we thought we’d do if something like that happens. Thanks for the reply! You’re amazing 🙂

  2. Nice article. As a gay male naturist, I have frequently seen the public sex. Gay men are just horn dogs. Those are the facts. Sadly, these activities definitely risk losing public naturist spaces when law enforcement and local governments are forced to address complaints. That being said, having been a naturist for a number of years, I have resigned myself to voyeurs and pervs. As you pointed out, there is really nothing to do about that other than covering up and THAT AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN. Stay naked.

  3. I sincerely appreciate your support of nudism and your desire not to let the bad behavior of some people affect your enjoyment of nude recreation. However, giving up, accepting defeat, ignoring the behavior, or otherwise doing nothing or little about it is the same as giving approval to the bad behavior. Unless we take a strong stand against it, I guarantee that it will only get worse. So, let me encourage you in this: while you are enjoying your nude freedom, jealously protect that freedom by taking a strong stand against the lewd and perverted behavior that threaten to ruin it for all of us. Publicly call out those who can’t or won’t control themselves. If they won’t stop, get them tossed out. Let them know that only people who value true nudism are welcome. Don’t let these fakes cause us to lose any more beaches, public areas, or even clubs. Protect the freedom that nudists have fought for over the past 90 years and that you now enjoy today. You deserve to be nude…and safe.

    1. Thanks for your feedback Dan!
      Don’t get us wrong, we don’t (and will never) approve indecent behaviour. If something happens we’ll do the best we can to get it fixed asap. But we’ve noticed that the fear for perverts is something what keeps aspiring nudists from taking the first step and if you read the many online horror stories, you can’t blame them. With this article we’re trying to show things as they really are: yes, it happens, but it really happens rarely and in different degrees.

  4. Great article! Especially for newbies to naturism.

    The only encounter my wife and I had was at a c/o resort in California. The couple m/f was a bit intoxicated and she was putting his penis in her mouth in plane view. He seemed to pull away because she was being quite obvious. I called the main office but by the time someone came to address them, they were gone. Those are exhibitionist and can be ignored.

    When it comes to voyeurs or paparazzis I would just walk up to them and call them out. I think they would leave right away but I don’t recommend anyone do this.

    1. So, what to do if you are in a pool at a resort and a couple start having sex which will lead to a not so clean pool? This happened to me and my wife.

  5. I support the view that those who compromise our nude venues must be confronted. I think this works best if we do so en mass. On Little Beach in Hawai’i a group of us threatened a photographer by suggesting any further use of his phone would be met with us trying to skip it across the waves.

  6. Most California nude beaches are pretty strict.
    Thankfully so. My wife and I laugh at the curious teenagers. We also figure if someone wants our picture, they must be desperate. (We’re not 18 anymore lol)
    Sexual behavior is definitely not appropriate though. 1. It’s lewd behavior that gets us shut down. 2. You can’t unsee certain things. 3. We hope to take our future children.
    But that’s my two cents. Good topic!

  7. Public sex, The exhibitionist, The voyeur, The masturbator – thik about them, why they do what they do? Mainly because they get pleasure from what they do! Nobody gets harmed in the process.
    The paparazzi – only single naked image of you can ruin you`r life so that`s different .

  8. One does not have to go to nudist beach to find weird people. I lived for a few years in Vancouver BC and joined a club called Meadowbrook. The sauna was the centre of frivolity with couples and as a single male that put me off. Several years later I had returned to Australia and attended a weekly swim night only to be turned off by an older man touching me.
    I think any behaviour is out of order and as a happily married man I decided to drop out of that venue.

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